In my professional practice, I regularly meet people who have gone through periods of deep fatigue, disruption or serious questioning about their work. Some use the word “burnout.” I prefer to use that term with great caution.
Burnout and mental health issues belong to the field of healthcare professionals. My role is neither to diagnose nor to interpret a situation from a medical or psychological perspective. My focus is elsewhere: the professional environment, workplace dynamics, beliefs, behaviours, corporate culture, communication, relationships, competencies, the role a person occupies and the opportunities available to them.
What I am sharing here is therefore not a medical theory. It is an observation based on situations I regularly encounter in career coaching.
Some people are not struggling simply because they are working too much. They no longer recognise themselves in what they do, in the way they are expected to do it or in the environment in which they work. And when they start thinking about change, they do not necessarily see an opportunity. What they often see first is everything they could lose.
When work no longer fits the person you have become
We gradually build our professional lives. We develop expertise, take on responsibilities, gain status and organise our lives around a certain level of income. This progression can be legitimate, rewarding and entirely intentional. But people change.
Our priorities evolve. What motivated us at 30 may no longer fulfil us at 45 or 55. An environment that once felt stimulating can gradually become restrictive. A prestigious position may lose its meaning. A corporate culture that we once accepted may eventually conflict with our values.
The difficulty does not necessarily come from a lack of competence, resilience or commitment.
It can come from a growing misalignment between several dimensions:
- what a person values and what the organisation rewards;
- the way they want to work and the behaviours expected from them;
- their real competencies and the space they are given to use them;
- their need for autonomy and the level of control imposed on them;
- their definition of quality and the organisation’s operational priorities;
- who they are today and a role that was shaped around who they were several years ago;
- their need for recognition and the quality of their professional relationships;
- what they want to contribute and what their environment actually allows them to achieve.
The person may continue to perform. They meet their objectives. They carry their responsibilities. From the outside, everything may still appear to be under control. But internally, something no longer fits.
The feeling of being trapped: “I can neither stay nor leave”
Professional misalignment becomes particularly difficult when someone feels that none of the available options is genuinely possible. Staying means continuing in a situation that no longer fits.
Leaving seems to threaten their security, their family’s security or the balance they have spent years building.
There is a mortgage or rent to pay. Children’s education may need to be financed. Financial commitments need to be honoured. A certain level of income must be maintained. A household has to be protected.
Then there are other factors: status, reputation, social expectations and the fear of losing what has already been achieved. The feeling of being trapped therefore rarely comes from the job alone.
It comes from the combination of:
- a professional situation that has become increasingly difficult to tolerate;
- the impression that no realistic alternative exists;
- financial and family responsibilities;
- fear of the consequences of change;
- and sometimes the difficulty of explaining to those around you that you simply cannot continue as before.
The person is caught in a double tension:
They can no longer continue as they are, but they do not feel able or entitled to do things differently.
When past success becomes too narrow a framework
Sometimes, the structure that once made us feel secure becomes the structure that keeps us stuck.
A successful career can provide income, identity, recognition and social status. Over time, an entire life becomes organised around these elements. Questioning your professional situation can then feel like questioning the whole structure you have built.
People begin asking themselves:
- Who am I without this position or title?
- Could I earn a comparable salary somewhere else?
- Would my family accept a period of uncertainty?
- Is it too late to change direction or learn something new?
- Is my environment the problem, or have I become the problem?
This is why telling someone to simply “follow your passion” or “leave what no longer makes you happy” is far too simplistic.
A career transition is not an abstract concept. It affects an individual, but also an entire ecosystem of responsibilities, relationships, habits, financial commitments and expectations.
Professional signals worth paying attention to
Without trying to interpret a situation medically, certain professional signals deserve attention:
- recurring apprehension before particular meetings or tasks;
- disproportionate relief when a meeting or project is cancelled;
- the feeling of constantly having to play a role that no longer feels like you;
- a loss of meaning despite satisfactory pay, seniority or status;
- growing conflict between your values and the organisation’s decisions;
- the sense that your competencies are underused, ignored or becoming obsolete;
- professional relationships characterised by mistrust, lack of recognition or an inability to communicate openly;
- renewed energy when you work on something that genuinely matters to you;
- the persistent impression that you can neither stay nor leave.
These are not diagnostic criteria.
They are useful entry points for examining the reality of the work itself: its content, organisation, environment and the place you occupy within it.
Do not confuse the need for change with the need to escape
When a situation becomes difficult, the desire to leave can become immediate. That reaction is understandable.
But making a decision solely to get away from what has become unbearable can lead to reproducing the same difficulties somewhere else.
An example from my practice
I am currently working with a client who is putting considerable pressure on herself to leave her job.
She is convinced that she has to resign. The decision has almost become urgent in her mind, as though leaving quickly were the only way to breathe again and regain control over the situation.
My role is not to tell her to stay. It is not to confirm that she should resign either. My first objective is to reduce the pressure surrounding the decision long enough to understand what is genuinely driving the desire to leave.
Where exactly is the misalignment?
Is it related to the content of the role? The corporate culture? Management practices? Relationships? A lack of recognition? The way her competencies are being used? Her own expectations? Or is it a combination of several of these dimensions? Is the pressure coming entirely from the professional environment? Or is it also being reinforced by personal beliefs, expectations from others, fear of remaining trapped or the assumption that leaving will automatically solve the problem?
This process is not about artificially delaying a legitimate decision. It is about distinguishing between three things that can easily become confused:
- what genuinely no longer works;
- what is creating the urgency to leave today;
- what the person actually wants to find or build next.
Until these three dimensions are sufficiently clear, resignation can easily become an emergency exit.
Leaving may absolutely be the right decision. But it becomes a stronger decision when it is based on an understanding of the problem and a consciously chosen direction, rather than simply on the need to make the pressure stop.
Redefining your own professional success
This process also requires going back to a more fundamental question:
What does professional success mean to this person today?
During a career, we can gradually find ourselves pursuing a definition of success that we never truly chose, or one that no longer corresponds to who we are.
That definition may have been based on title, salary, status, hierarchical progression, security or the way other people perceive us. All of these dimensions can matter. But they do not necessarily define fulfilment.
In our coaching work, we help people clarify what the following concepts mean to them at this specific stage of their lives:
- professional success: according to what criteria will they know that they are successful?
- achievement and fulfilment: what do they still want to build, contribute or develop?
- satisfaction and happiness at work: what conditions allow them to feel engaged and in the right place?
- meaning: what do they want to contribute to, and why does it matter?
- balance: what place should work occupy within their life as a whole?
- security: what level of financial, personal and family stability do they genuinely need?
The objective is not to give someone a new definition of success. It is to help them define their own.
That definition then becomes a framework for making decisions. Can it still be achieved within the current environment through changes to the role, responsibilities or working conditions? Or does it require a more fundamental professional transition?
Understand what is pushing you to leave. Clarify what is drawing you towards what comes next
Before changing company, profession or even life direction, it is important to understand what you are actually trying to leave behind.
It may be:
- an excessive workload;
- a particular manager or management style;
- a governance model;
- a culture that conflicts with your values;
- a role that has become too narrow;
- a lack of recognition;
- a damaged professional relationship;
- a loss of meaning;
- or even a way of functioning that you risk taking with you into your next position.
But the analysis cannot stop there. You need to examine with the same level of attention what you are moving towards. Is it a deliberate choice? Or is it simply the apparent opposite of what you dislike today? Will the new environment genuinely allow you to use your competencies more effectively? Will it fit your values? Will it meet your needs? Have the financial and family implications been properly considered?
Leaving one situation does not guarantee that the next one will be better.
Be careful about what you are running away from, but also about what you are rushing towards.
Clarity needs to work in both directions.
Regaining room to choose without turning everything upside down
Escaping the feeling of being trapped does not necessarily mean resigning immediately. Very often, the first step is simply to regain the ability to think about the situation differently.
To move away from the binary choice:
Stay and suffer. Or leave and risk everything.
Career coaching can help create additional options.
The work may involve:
- defining precisely what no longer works;
- distinguishing between difficulties related to the role, the manager, the organisation, the sector or the person’s own trajectory;
- identifying current values, needs, competencies and priorities;
- determining what needs to stop, what can evolve and what should be preserved;
- examining financial responsibilities and constraints objectively;
- developing several scenarios rather than relying on a single solution;
- evaluating the risks and conditions for success of each scenario;
- renegotiating the scope of a role, responsibilities, working percentage or ways of collaborating;
- closing a competency gap or gradually preparing for a transition;
- opening discussions with the relevant people, both professionally and within the family.
The objective is not to push someone towards leaving. It is to help them regain the ability to choose. Sometimes, changing the role or the environment is enough. Sometimes, a deeper transition is necessary. But the decision is always stronger when it is based on clear analysis rather than solely on the urgency to escape.
Looking at the work, the dynamics and the possibilities
In my practice, I encourage clients to reflect on several essential questions to help them move beyond this dilemma.
Questions such as: “What, precisely, is no longer sustainable in your professional environment?” to “What first realistic change would give you back some room to choose?”
Feeling trapped does not always mean that there is no way out.nSometimes it means that the available options have not yet been identified, evaluated or made sufficiently safe.
Career coaching can then focus on what belongs to the professional sphere: culture, behaviours, relationships, competencies, role, communication, constraints, scenarios and choices.
It can also help a person reclaim their own definition of success, achievement, satisfaction and fulfilment.
Because ultimately, the objective is not simply to escape an unsatisfactory situation. It is to make sure that the next decision is more aligned with what the person genuinely wants to build.
The question is therefore not simply:
“Should I stay or should I leave?”
A better question may be:
“What do I need to understand about what I am trying to leave behind, and what do I need to verify before choosing what I want to move towards?”
